Dating…Baseball…huh?
In keeping with the spirit of opening day of baseball I thought we would come up with a baseball analogy. So let’s examine how we relate baseball to basic men and women interaction. We’ll break it down from the Guy’s perspective first and then we’ll take it from a Girl’s point of view. Here are some definitions to get us started.
Guy’s Perspective
1. Hit by Pitch
You may be asking yourself what does he mean by “hit by pitch”. to be continued…i need some time to fully think this one through. It’ll be funny though, trust me. =).
2. Ball
You’ve gone out with her so you at least got an At Bat, which is huge btw, but unfortuntley this means that there is nothing going on here. You’re talking about going camping and she doesn’t own any shoes except high heels and her idea of sneakers is the new line of Prada tennis shoes. I mean cmon girls if it doesn’t say adidas, nike, asics, etc on the side they are not sneakers, and also if the sole reason you bought running shoes is because they look cute with your capris that doesn’t count either. Anyhow you get the point, ya’ll have nothing in common and your suddenly wishing ya’ll went to in-n-out instead of an expensive italian restaurant.
3. Strike out
I won’t go into too much detail here, but she’s hot, she’s nice, she’s smart, she’s your dream girl, and she could not be more NOT into you. In fact she’s probably cursing herself for even agreeing to going out to dinner with you. You’re a friend at best, stalker at worst, and she pretty much is dropping the we are friends bombs on you like she’s at war with you. Always inviting the friend when you think it might be just the two of you, canceling dinner and giving you lamo coffee, etc. You can see the fast ball coming down the pipe and you know it could be so grand, a home run for sure, but unfortunately you are a little too slow, not quite her type, not skilled enough, 20 pounds overweight, etc. And so you whiff, sadly, striking out. But hey at least you got an At Bat, sort of.
4. Hit
Self explanatory. However there are all types of hits, they are as follows:
a. Single
b. Double/Triple
c. Home Run
d. Reach on Error
You didn’t deserve to be on base but you reached anyway. This means, you should’ve striked out and totally do not deserve the girl you are with. She’s way over your head and you realize this, and you’re hoping that she doesn’t realize it ever. You can see this whenever you see a really attractive girl with a gomer of a guy. He’s super nervous, always looking around, has the obligatory arm around her shoulder at all times. What really confounds me is why these guys bring their obviously hotter than they girlfriends to the club consistently. I mean sooner or later she is going to realize you’re from the minors and she is most defintely an all-star.
5. An At Bat
This is one of the most exciting aspects of baseball when a player gets up to bat. Now keep in mind to get a hit you need to get up to the plate. There are guy’s that excel at this aspect of the game, they can have 4-5 at bats and seem to always be up at the plate. However some of these guys have poor execution when they get up to bat, they strike out often, or worse they are impatient and pop up and are an easy out. But they at least got an at bat. There are fellas that don’t get at bats that frequently but have a high batting average, hence they know what to do when they get an at bat. Feared players indeed, you can see them at the club or perhaps they are one of your friends. A new girl comes to the group and immediately your buddy takes a swing and soon you’ve lost a friend and your still riding the pine. Speaking of the pine, there are guys that ride the pine all day everyday. You can see these guys at the club too, they are on the wall drinking their jack’s and cokes, making fun of the guys taking swings and missing. My question is would you rather be playing, despite the outcome, or sitting on the bench?
6. Minors
Admit it most of us are in the minors. Just realize, understand, practice your swing, and make the most of your break when you get up to the majors for a game. You only have to get one hit.
7. Majors
To be continued….
good night and good things
Retired Bachelor @ September 19, 2007