Topic of the Day: TP
So I was walking in the grocery store today and I came across aisle 17. In aisle 17 was a whole row of TP (toilet paper for those of you who don’t know the short name). Did you ever realize how many different types of TP there are, I mean you have the single ply, double ply, ultra, ultra soft, quilted, ultra soft quilted, cheap sandpaper, and the list goes on. It’s amazing. So then I got to thinking.
You can tell alot about a person by what type of TP they buy. For example let’s say you walk into a girl’s bathroom and they got the double ply ultra soft quilted. You know that girl is hella high maintenence! I mean that stuff is like 2 bucks a sheet! I mean dang if she spends that much on TP, think about how much dinner is going to cost. Hint you will never get to go to a place that has a drive thru. And I bet if you check the label it’s not some generic safeway brand but Charmin, which is silky soft. If it’s a guy’s bathroom, you can pretty much be sure he’s as gay as a butterfly.
On the other hand let’s take the opposite side of the fence now. Let’s say you walk in to a girl’s bathroom and she’s got that, cheap rub your butt raw like sandpaper TP. And it IS a generic Albertson’s brand. At this point, you gotta be wondering if she even does laundry. In this case if I see this type of TP in the bathroom I’m like, I’m a just hold it. I mean you can probably cut glass with her TP. However if it’s a guy’s bathroom, that’s a good sign because that means he doesn’t have a lot of girls over and he’s a man’s man. Why, bc if he did have girls over they wouldn’t stand for that cheap single ply TP.
So now that we’ve determined that the type of TP can give you an insight into a person. We can also evaluate the roll over vs. roll under aspect of TP. The roll over people are pretty much inefficient people. I know I’m going to take a lot of heat for this one, but let’s dive a little deeper here. With the roll under, which I am a proponent of, the TP never gets caught up where you can’t get to it. You never have to execute the spin move. With the roll over if someone takes a piece too close to the top you are left with nothing to grab, and we all know how frustrating that is. Hence then you have to execute the spin move, btw this is a very risky move. If you spin too hard whoops there goes the TP and it’s on the floor. If you spin too lightly you’re back to square one. So all in all, please support roll under.
Okay that’s enough about TP, at least for today.
Retired Bachelor @ August 28, 2007